In 1973, I asked God to save my brother and myself from a world of desperation.
3 years later, 70% of my body was covered with psoriasis and my brother was dead.
It is a common tale, wild kids meet alcohol, meet drugs, meet rebellion, meet cops, meet injustice, meet self-destruction. Like I said, sadly, it’s a common tale!
I cursed God the day my brother died. I promised to continue that curse until the day I died. That hate only reeked more havoc on my life!
6 years later, in 1982, I decided I had seen enough of this world. That same day, an old acquaintance, now a Christian happened to drop by my home. (Coincidence?)
I shared my contempt for his God! I claimed, “If God was real and he loved us then he would have saved my brother!” He said, “I don’t believe you see the big picture! How do you know that God didn’t save your brother? Because your brother died? Do you really think that life here on earth is the best God can give you? God will certainly help you make this life better BUT you will never be free of troubles here! Believe me, God knows your pain, this world killed his Son! As hard as that fact was to argue with I still didn’t believe…..
so I made a deal with Jesus, show me that you and your father truly care… save me from myself and I’ll always give you the credit while serving you. I’ll do the Jesus Stuff!
I prayed the sinners prayer…asked God to forgive my sins and accepted Christ as my Savior and immediately an invisible weight literally came off my shoulders. I was amazed at how I felt!
I wanted the world to know what I knew!!
For the next few years, I used music and speaking skills to deliver my story of salvation and victory to churches, youth groups, camps, group homes, juvenile detention centers and eventually into prisons. I worked exclusively in maximum security, with young men who had committed terrible acts of rage induced violence and were still capable of more. It was a calling and it was amazing!
God moved in those young lives in a way I could not explain or even take the slightest credit for.
After witnessing God move like that it was hard to understand the weaknesses of my church. I failed many test of my faith. I failed to love those I did not understand or value for sitting in a pew most of their lives while people like my brother were dying outside. I had no tolerance for weak church leaders that wouldn’t last a minute in what I called, “The Real World” Eventually, I left the church, my ministry and much of my faith behind.
I spent 14 years outside the church, stopped calling myself a, “Christian” and instead became a “Follower of Christ !” For a long time God showed me His patience and love. After awhile he called me back but I refused. I was still frustrated by the spiritual corruption of religion.
I knew Jesus was not about the lies of religion. I knew He was and is about the truth of salvation. Finding the path back to my faith was not easy and came with many failures both physically and emotionally. My life began to unravel, I lost everything but the thought of going back to church and trusting others so different from me was so unacceptable I allowed myself to fall into a depression so deep that I begged God to just let me die. Just take me home, I pleaded.
But God spoke to my heart through different people and parts of His word, the Bible. I learned that it was good to be upset with much of the American Church for they have forgotten what a mighty God they serve! They have all but completely reduced Jesus Christ to a warm and fuzzy feeling, a benevolent CEO of a compassionate world outreach! BUT! even in this, He still loved these people, His Church and he would not abandon them! So I had a choice. Live to Fight the Good Fight, (1 Timothy 6:12 ) or Just Live to Fight! Finally, I let God lead me out of that wilderness.
Through, God’s faithful promises, education and the TRUE understanding of forgiveness, I live in Victory!
I KNOW this, GOD is a MIGHTY GOD and JESUS is LORD ABOVE ALL! Neither can be manipulated by humankind or the most powerful spirits on earth. A failure to encompass these facts only proves ones ignorance, arrogance and self importance! God have mercy on those people, in the church and out, that they wake up and seek the TRUE Jesus Christ before it’s too late!
SO…if you struggle with today’s understanding of God and His allowance of all that is going on. If you find yourself not fitting in to your church. If you have never accepted Christ as your Savior, Click this link ( not available yet) Where ever you are at in knowing Jesus Christ, I hope some of what I have learned will help you by sharing my experiences through stories and music made free and available to you on this website.
